A Flurry of Reviews!

I know you’ve noticed. I rarely update this site. Or at least, I don’t update it enough for you to check back regularly without my prodding MySpace bulletins.

I only sporadically update for the following reasons:

(a.) I’m lazy
(b.) I’m busy
(c.) I’m too dashingly handsome to deny the world my striking features by hiding behind a computer screen all night
or
(d.) all of the above

(hint: the answer is (c.) of course)

So, because my beauty must be shared I didn’t get a chance to write long reviews for each movie that I saw the past month (and I saw a bunch). Here are a few miniaturized reviews for the short attention span you proudly embrace as your own.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

I’ve never seen so much fake blood in a movie, let alone a musical! It sprays and splatters across the screen so frequently and in such quantity it becomes laughable. My initial shock at seeing so much phony blood was the only reaction I had to this underwhelming movie. The music is bland, made more so by the plain singing voices of Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, along with other actors not known for their vocal range (Alan Rickman, Sacha Baron Cohen). Burton does a good job of creating a dark, gothic, industrial London, but that has become a bit of a Burton cliché of late. It’s not all bad, of course. If you liked the original Stephen Sondheim musical you’ll most likely enjoy this capable, well-constructed, big screen adaptation.

Charlie Wilson’s War (2007)

Something about this movie rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it was the fact that I was supposed to root for a womanizing, alcoholic Texas congressman who becomes a warmongering, alcoholic Texas congressman! What an unbelievable character arc! Maybe it was Julia Roberts playing an ultra-rich, ultra-right wing lobbyist who is a super bitch, but is also super in bed! I don’t believe it! Maybe it was because I was expected to like a man who funded and started a war which supposedly contributed to the fall of Soviet Russia, but also destabilized an already shaky region, allowed a fanatical Islamic regime to coalesce and gain control of said region, and all the while training and arming said Islamic fanatics who would then use their knowledge and networking to attack the US some 15 years later. Whoop! Charlie Wilson, you are a true American hero!

Eastern Promises (2007)

Russians might be the scariest, most rotten people in the world. At least according to the movies that is. (Russians brutally invade Afghanistan in both Charlie Wilson’s War and The Kite Runner. Sweeny Todd is the exception, of course.)

In Eastern Promises Naomi Watts plays a midwife who helps a dying young girl deliver a baby. The young girl turns out to be an underage Russian immigrant who was forced into prostitution by the Russian mob. Watts naively starts snooping around a Russian mob hangout to get to the bottom of who killed the young girl. Viggo Mortensen plays Nikolai, a frightening Russian mobster who will stop at nothing to become an underworld boss, but develops a soft-spot for the plucky Watts, which puts his loyalty to the test.

David Cronenberg directed this film and in his typical fashion the violence is grisly (anyone up for a naked knife fight in a sauna?) and the subject matter is pretty abrasive. As in A History of Violence, Cronenberg continues to explore the theme of violence and butchery hiding just below the surface of polite, ordered society. Just scratch a little and evil men with wicked intentions start to creep up.

The Kite Runner (2007)

The Kite Runner is a faithful, well-made film adaptation of the book that everyone I know who doesn’t usually read books has read, and raved about. Or so I’m told it’s a faithful rendition. I haven’t actually read the book yet. (It’s on my list, don’t worry). For those of you who don’t know the story, its broken into two parts. One part is about an Afghani man named Amir, who goes back to Afghanistan to save his nephew from becoming an sex slave to an Taliban warlord. The most emotional part of the movie, however, is the extended flashback of Amir’s childhood in Tehran and his friendship with his servant, Hassan (who happens to be Amir’s nephew’s father. It’s a complicated story that the film nimbly navigates).

Hassan is played by Ahmad Khan Mahmidzada who has a face of pure sadness and the filmmakers use it for all its worth. One look at his sad eyes and turned-down mouth breaks your heart because you know terrible things are destined for him – like getting beaten up and anally raped by sadistic bullies and then banished by Amir, his embarrassed and cowardly friend. Adult Amir goes back to Afghanistan years later not only to save Hassan’s child but also to redeem himself for his earlier cowardice.

For some reason The Kite Runner didn’t fare well with critics and I can’t really see why. It was filmed competently by Marc Forster (Monster’s Ball, Finding Neverland) and written for maximum dramatic heft by David Benioff (25th Hour). Sometimes the film did feel a little bit like a made-for-TV sob story, and the kite fighting (yes, KITE-fighting) sequences looked awkward at best, but overall, the story was an emotionally cathartic and politically relevant tale of a man’s struggle for redemption. Maybe too many people read the book and were eager to say what all "Readers" say when they see a film adaptation: "Sure the movie was pretty good, but the book was better."

ED’S FAVORITE FILMS OF 2007!!!

In an effort to feel like a Real Professional Film Critic I’ve waded into the deep waters of my memory to dredge out and create a monolithic assemblage of movies lucky enough to be deemed...

ED’S FAVORITE FILMS OF 2007!!!

(Trumpets blasting!! Crowds cheering in orgasmic glee!!)

I’ve reviewed a few of the films on this site previously, and you can follow the link to that specific review if you wish to enlighten yourself further. The movies I didn’t review beforehand have a succinct blurb stating my infallible opinion following their title.

All kidding aside, this was a fantastic year for movies and I’ve enjoyed being able to watch as many of them as I could squeeze into my schedule and report back my opinions on a few of them on this meager blog. And thank you for caring enough about my feelings to actually read it! So please, enjoy the list (as much as one can possibly enjoy a list), and if I’ve left off your favorite film of the year, let me know in the comments!

PREPARE TO BE AWED:

ED’S FAVORITE FILMS OF 2007

1. There Will Be Blood – Read Review

2. The Diving Bell and The Butterfly – Read Review

3. No Country for Old Men – Read Review

4. This is England­ -Thomas Turgoose is remarkable as Shaun, a friendless 13-year-old growing up in England circa 1983. He meets some skinheads (the non-racist kind) who take him in and show him how to have fun. That is until a rival skinhead named Combo (Stephen Graham) who is fresh out of jail, takes the impressionable young lad under his wing and introduces him to violent British nationalism. Director Shane Meadows’ film is a potent and heartfelt coming of age story and a memorable slice of what it must have been like to grow up in Thatcher’s England in the downtrodden 1980s.

5. Persepolis – Apparently I’m a sucker for a good coming of age story, since Persepolis, This is England and Juno are all films where the main character grows up and learns about who they are. This animated gem, based on the graphic novel by Marjane Satrapi (who, along with Vincent Paronnaud, directed the film) is about an outspoken young girl growing up and struggling with her identity in post-revolution Iran. The visually stunning black and white artwork is so beautiful I gave myself a headache trying to read the subtitles (it’s in French) and watch the images fly by on the screen. Intensely personal even though major political themes are discussed, the energetic story is captivating from start to finish.

6. Control – Read Review

7. The Lives of Others – This was released very early in 2007, but it still stands out in my mind. Ulrich Mühe plays an officer in the East German secret police who is assigned to spy on suspected “traitor” Sebastian Koch and his lover. Mühe becomes increasingly absorbed in the lives of his subjects and is faced with an impossible decision when it is time to turn his new “friend” over to the authorities. The film portrays the climate of paranoia, suffocation and loneliness of Communist era Germany with amazing detail and all of the performances are top notch.

8. Juno – See Review

9. Michael Clayton – The fact that I work in a Manhattan law firm might have contributed to how much I liked this movie about law firms and the shady corporations they protect. For days afterward I was lurking around my office trying to predict who my firm’s “Fixer” was. The firm’s fixer in this movie is George Clooney who strongly plays a down-on-his-luck attorney suddenly realizing he has a conscience when he is told to clean up a legal mess made by a colleague who has a nervous breakdown. Tilda Swinton is also fantastic as an ambitious in-house counsel for a bio-corporation who’s product may be poisoning the public.

10. The Bourne Ultimatum – This film is just one long fucking chase scene (and I mean that in a good way). Energetic, loud, and full of running, fighting, shooting and one hell of a car chase at the end, this third installment in the Bourne franchise is an action flick on amphetamines. Yes, it’s an action movie, and you know it has to be good because I hate to praise action movies because for every awesome Borne flick there are mountains of miserable, overly violent schlock, pleasing only to mouth-breathers who like to watch Jason Statham blow things up. So trust me, The Bourne Ultimatum is a perfect capper to the heart pumping trilogy and a whole lot of fun.

ALSO!!!

The following are movies I didn’t see this year that might have made my list if I was an actual paid film critic and not doing this in my spare time.

In no particular order:

The Savages – A depressing low budget flick about two dejected academics (starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney) struggling with their father’s march to death. This will probably be satisfying to my masochistic miserable side.

Gone Baby Gone – I hate Ben Affleck, but thankfully he’s not on screen at all in his directorial debut about a kidnapping of a little girl in Boston. Word is it’s pretty good. And depressing. Nice.

Charlie Wilson’s War – Feels like it could have a Confessions of a Dangerous Mind vibe, (Cold-War cavorting) which is fine by me. Plus Tom Hanks playing against character as a lecherous congressman who tries to take down Soviet Russia is a welcomed change from his squeaky clean image.

I’m Not There – Most people I know who have seen this have had mixed to negative things to say about it. But I refuse to write it off. Critics raved enough about this that I need to check it out. And even if I ended up hating this Bob Dylan biopic (notable for splitting Dylan’s life into six parts, each played by different actors) I might’ve still included it on my top ten list just because I’m a pretentious prick.

Eastern Promises – Ever since Michael Ironside made that dude’s head explode with his telekinetic powers in Scanners, David Cronenberg has been a favorite director of mine. I’m ashamed to say I haven’t seen this film about a woman (Naomi Watts) who encounters the Russian mob in London. It’s already on DVD for fuck sake! It’s also on the top of my Netflix queue.

Once – Another one of those movies which ended up at the top of many critic’s “best of” lists but everyone I know who has seen it hasn’t really liked it. Plus it’s a musical about two Dublin street musicians who fall in love. Sounds a little mushy for my manly style. I’ll probably check it out, but just for curiosity’s sake.

There Will Be Blood (2007)

Paul Thomas Anderson has described his latest film There Will Be Blood as a boxing match between two forceful, driven men. One, a successful oil man (Daniel Day-Lewis) with his determined sights set on a small California town which has the (mis)fortune of sitting above an ocean of oil, and the other, Daniel’s nemesis, a local, self-ordained minister (Paul Dano) who wishes to use the profits of the discovery to advance his church’s influence outside his desolate town’s limits. Both men’s pummeling blows come one after the other, each blast weighing a heavy toll on the men until they are reduced to their shattered ideals and battered flesh. This film is the most powerful display of greed corroding men to their bilious cores that I have ever seen.

We initially meet oil prospector and driller Daniel Plainview (Mr. Lewis) deep within the earth, chomping away at the hard, cold ground with a dull pickaxe. He looks like a sinewy vampire driven to exhaustion by an unholy thirst for blood. But soon the oil is seeping from the ground like black blood from a deep puncture wound. Daniel’s thirst is quenched momentarily, but more is required. With the help of his angel faced son H.W., (Dillon Freasier) which Daniel adopts for the purpose of making him seeming more like a “family man”, Daniel snatches up a farm in a shabby town called Little Boston, where nothing grows and oil collects in puddles on the ground.

Besides oil, Little Boston is home the feverish Reverend Eli Sunday (Mr. Dano) and his wild dreams of salvation through suffering and magical healing through prayer. Eli’s faith in God is only rivaled by Daniel’s faith in Capitalism and the two butt heads savagely, laying waste to the town and, ultimately, to each other.

The pace to the film is slow and deliberate. Each shot looks painstakingly assembled and it is obvious everyone involved with the production was operating at the top of their game. The unhurried shots echo Terrence Malick’s pastoral film Days of Heaven but only much darker and foreboding. Radiohead guitarist Jonny Greenwood’s score adds much to the ominous tone, rattling and clanging like an overburdened oil rig one moment and the next evoking a blissfully eerie symphony.

Daniel Day-Lewis fully inhabits the role of Daniel Plainview, an entrepreneur of singular vision who will not detour his desires for any man or any god. As Plainview, Mr. Day-Lewis doesn’t chew scenery, he obliterates it. When he is on screen it is almost impossible to look away (which is a shame, because each shot is so luscious). His characters vitriolic loathing of mankind is so venomous it almost seeps through the screen. The fire burning in his eyes when one of his oil rigs explodes is not a reflection of the spurting flames around him, it’s a raging firestorm within him scorching to the surface. It is indeed a powerful performance and one that has continued to give me shivers days after seeing the film.

The only (minor) criticism I can muster is that the film is not at all subtle. That is not to say it is a “message movie”. There are no rousing speeches or lectures or anything as blatant as that. However, it is about God and Money battling it out as personified by two larger then life men who are both stubborn and troubled and totally alone in the harsh, filthy world. And unlike No Country for Old Men, which this movie is being pitted against by most critics for best picture of the year (unfairly for both films), there is no ambiguity, which No Country was chock full of. At the end of There Will Be Blood, there promise in the title is realized and there is no doubt who the victor is.